24 October 2020 @10:15pm
I simply want to share without the focus of format, hope it’s easy to follow along.
Saturday morning I relaxed at home, called my Mum, budgeted, and prepared to meet up with new friends. I got a few errands done midday, with the goal to sell some audio equipment.
The part I dislike the most about donating and selling unused items is the shame of spending money and not being about to earn a worthy profit from the resale. Then it feels like I disappointed and fooled myself into believing that I’d become the thing that I purchased. As if wearing designer clothes makes you a fashion model or influencer. As if the person I imagined I would be, only exists when the commercial begins and ends, poof the magic is gone. I use to imagine myself as a professional singer. But things have changed, I’ve rearranged my priorities and I want a career that focuses on service, guiding young individuals with life skills.
That’s the point, things have changed. And soon, my location will change and so will my job, and my habits. Sometimes the things we have in our home have nothing to do with who we are today. If I think about the thoughts I had before March 2020, I’m totally different now. I have so much excess, too many cleaning supplies, clothing, the things are bursting out the seams and I can’t keep up with it.
I’m reminding myself here, it’s okay to let go of yesterday. It’s okay to pause, rethink my purchases and leave the store empty handed. It’s okay to have just enough and sometimes go without for a few day’s. I’m learning that delaying self gratification, is necessary. The wait is worth it.
As I’m letting go of the items in my home, I’m encouraged & challenge myself to purchase less especially during times of stress, depression or anxiety that’s usually when I purchase the most things to feel less alone.
Today I felt less alone meeting to talk with Jess & Jordan, such a lovely couple. It was a reminder that what’s most important is relationships within my community, the conversations we have, sharing food, and laughter like rays of sunshine, I’ll never forget.